Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
