Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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