I want to walk on stilts...naked
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so let's talk penis.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
