Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
