i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
