I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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