Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
