He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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