i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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