how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Randomize
