I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
