Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
