My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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