We won't sleep together?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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