so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize