Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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