After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Did I show you my penis last night?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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