Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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