This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize