I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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