Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i already hear my dad disowning me
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
