He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
