he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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