"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
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