Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
