this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
