Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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