I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
two words...techno handjob
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
