So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
