are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize