I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
