I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
