Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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