I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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