...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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