Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
