His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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