Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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