u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize