Whod you bang
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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