There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
