god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dude i'm inner monologue high
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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