i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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