mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize