everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
