I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
