why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
we're so committed to being not committed
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize