their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
