guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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