That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
