I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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