No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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