I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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