I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
