woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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