Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize