I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
