Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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