Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
