Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
