he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize